Jenks Hypnosis and Training Center, LLC

805 N. Fir, Jenks, OK 74037    (918) 298-6884
Located in Jenks, America, near the heart of south Tulsa

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Life after Abuse

There are many different kinds of abuse. Physical. Sexual. Emotional. Mental. All of them leave scars that sometimes makes daily living a challenge. Abuse colors perceptions of both ourselves and of other people making trust difficult if not down right impossible.

Sexual abuse frequently leads to obesity. If I'm not pretty, sexually attractive, sensual, then this will never happen to me again. A common, but faulty, thinking often instilled by the perpetrator. (Of course, it wouldn't be HIS fault.) What most sexual abuse victims (including rape and molestation) don't realize is that it isn't about sensuality, sexuality or even sex. It is ALL about power and control You have none. He has all.

Physical abuse is similar. It too is about power and control. It is all about purposeful violence. It is designed to destroy self esteem, plunder self confidence and create control by fear. We wind up feeling like, and being, a door mat - afraid to open our mouth let alone speak our mind.

Mental and emotional abuse leave just as many scars and few of them are physical. Of all the different types of abuse, these two are the most insidious. How do you convince someone you are being abused when you have no marks, no bruises, no scars.

Physical and sexual abuse are tangible, provable (sometimes) and illegal. People go to jail for such abuse. Law enforcement officers can help you (most of the time); you can get restraining orders.

But how do you combat a constant barrage of "you're fat, you're stupid, you're worthless." The more you hear it, the more you believe it and the more difficult it becomes to believe anything good about yourself or to extract yourself from the situation.

Again, it is never the abusers fault. It is always your fault. If you weren't so ___ (fill in the blank), he wouldn't lose his temper.

Combating abuse - of any kind - is one of the most difficult things I deal with. Abuse victims have so little self esteem and self worth, I'm always amazed they make it to my office at all! Such a simple step for the rest of us takes an incredible amount of courage for an abuse victim.

Usually I see an abused person long after the abuser has gone, leaving behind a person struggling to deal with the aftermath and wreckage, seeking a way to find wholeness.

How does hypnosis help clean up the mess and put life back on track?

Last year, we discussed regression. When the 'child' is hurt, the adult has problems. Going back to each younger, hurting self allowing each one to express all of their pent up emotions and words begins the process of cleansing, repairing and reclaiming power.

One of the most difficult parts of this process is forgiveness. Wait! Before you even begin to express your outrage, let me assure you forgiveness is not given to absolve the abuser. It is given to reclaim your power.

Let's think about this a moment. Anger, hate, fear, resentment, etc are all negative emotions that eat away at all the good things life can offer. Hanging on to all those negative emotions is like holding live coals in your hands. Who is getting burned? (I am.) Does the abuser know you are holding on to all this negativity? (No.) Would he care if he did? (Of course not.) As long as you are holding on to your anger, hate and resentment, the abuser continues to hold you hostage and keep all your power.

Forgiveness does not mean you condone what was done. It doesn't mean you want it to happen again. Forgiveness simply means that you are reclaiming your power. By forgiving, you sever all the chains and bonds and shackles that bind you to being helpless and victimized. When you forgive, you release yourself from the past and begin looking to the future - a brighter, shiner, healthier future where you trust yourself and your decisions. A future where you stop second guessing yourself and every decision you make and every one else's actions and intents. A future where you are free to walk in the sunshine and enjoy a life free of fear, anxiety, hate and resentment.

Hypnosis is not the only path to this future. It may not be your path to this future. If we can assist you to reclaim yourself and your power, to find this brighter, shiner future, call us at 298-6884 or 809-8770. Together we will find the right path for you. Together we will walk in the sunlight.